Two days and counting: What about Fluffy?
An image from this video from After the Rapture Pet Care. Image source: timesunion.com
Lo, the day draws nigh!
The folks over at Family Radio must be all in a tizz. Why? Well, because Jesus is coming back on Saturday and he’s taking all the good people — them — back to heaven with him. That is, there’s gonna be some blatant rapture action and some mighty sorry slobs — you and I — will be left behind. I’m guessing it will be a pretty dramatic occurrence. Look out for planes to fall from the sky, cars to pile up on the interstates, and people to die on operating tables as Jesus takes all the pure ones away from this unwashed and hopelessly heathen world.
This popular idea of the rapture is not only silly; it’s unbiblical. It’s just not in there, folks. But this doesn’t keep the Family Radio people and countless other groups from claiming that not only will the rapture happen in a here-today, gone-tomorrow kind of way, but that they know the date and even the time at which all naughty people will be left behind to rot in squalor on this putrid and sinful planet. Predicting the end of the world has been a nonstop industry for centuries. And it occurs not only in Christian circles. Look here for an interesting article from the LA Times on recent claims.
Predictably, with the frenzied claims of the world’s immanent doom has come the equally frenzied mockery from the atheists. These folks have had a fine time making fun of those who think they’re leaving us on Saturday. Some of them really work hard at it, too. Perhaps too hard. It’s depressingly familiar: So many atheists (but not all) spend so much time and energy focused on the crudest forms of religious expression.
The rapture squad scream on street corners. The atheists mock them. We yawn. Nothing to see here, folks. Not a single thing.
But maybe not. It seems to me that something new is happening this time. At least it seems that way from where I sit. Maybe it’s because of the rise of the Internets or perhaps the recent uptick in atheism. In any case, the atheists are thinking smart this time. Instead of merely making jokes about the sorry situation, these folks are finding a way to cash in on the pre-rapture mania. A group of “animal lovers and confirmed atheists” at Eternal Earthbound Pets have offered to take care of Fluffy after her owners get swept off the planet by Jesus. See this article at HuffPost. From their website:
For $135.00 we will guarantee that should the Rapture occur within ten (10) years of receipt of payment, one pet per residence will be saved. Each additional pet at your residence will be saved for an additional $20.00 fee. A small price to pay for your peace of mind and the health and safety of your four legged and feathered friends. Unfortunately at this time we are not equipped to accommodate all species and must limit our services to dogs, cats, birds, rabbits, and small caged mammals. [Please note: we can now offer rescue services for horses, camels, llamas and donkeys in NH,VT, ID and MT]
This brings up some time-honored theological questions such as, Do dogs go to heaven? And if so, what about ostriches and llamas? Turtles? Ferrets? Other questions arise, too, such as: Has anyone ever seen such cynicism? How is this different than ripping off elderly people who are not capable of reading fine print or of discerning the difference between a legitimate email from their bank and a clever hoax? Just thought I’d throw out the question.
Not that the folks at Eternal Earthbound Pets aren’t nice people, mind you. They prove that they’re morally legit by giving away a portion of their advertising revenues to community food banks. See, they can benefit from the ignorance of others and be ethical too!
Hm. Maybe it’s me who’s cynical.
Good to be back.
P.S. No, Eternal Earthbound Pets is not a joke. Although it may be hard to imagine any member of the Jesus-is-coming-tomorrow-just-before-teatime crowd trusting one of those mean old atheists with Fluffy.
There are 13 Comments to "Two days and counting: What about Fluffy?"
Great to have you back on Paul!
On Wednes. eve’s we’ve been studying a great read by Rev. David J. Lose, a Lutheran Seminary professor: “Making Sense of the Christian Faith,” (Augsburg Fortress, 2010) Written as a conversation between a skeptic and a believer, it covers big questions about Christian doctrines/theology, etc. A great and easy read. The last chapter is on Eschatology. Rev. Chris shared a funny story to get the discussion going:
The last time the End was being predicted, a woman who was a devoted believer was driving on a busy Los Angeles Hwy. behind a balloon truck. The truck was carrying human-shaped helium balloons. Some of the balloons became untied and flew out the sunroof of the truck. The lady driving behind saw this, thought the Rapture had come, took her hands off the steering wheel and caused a massive pile-up on the hwy. She was killed in the accident. (Well, THAT’S not funny, but I guess she did get her wish…..)
I think if the Rapture doesn’t happen, all those expecting it on Saturday are going to “rupture.”
No one knows when the End of History comes, Jesus said even He doesn’t know. God’s in charge; it’s a waste of time and energy to worry about it.
Congrats on your graduation!! Hope to visit again, soon…
Thanks for the comment, David. Funny story — in a way — about the LA woman. Funny; I never heard of Lose until the day before you posted this comment. He will show up in tomorrow’s installment on psnt.
Thanks for the kind words regarding graduation. It’s good to be done!
The Numerologist Mr. Camping has said that he miscalculated….the REAL End takes place in 5 months….Oct. 21. He gets another chance to fleece more people out of their retirement savings!
Mr. Camping, soothsayer, has now adjusted his prediction; the End will take place in 5 months, instead…Oct. 21. Another opportunity to fleece people out of their retirement savings.
Great to have you back, Paul. Your posts are always enjoyable and challenging, even if I sometimes disagree on a point or two. Here, I totally agree that the rapture is not biblical. I don’t say there is not a verse here or there someone could rely on for it, but the overall thrust of scripture doesn’t support it, and it just doesn’t make any sense. By the same token, I must say passages which relate to the “end times” seem virtually inscrutable, even seemingly contradictory at times, so it’s not too surprising that there are a myriad of views out there. IMO, Christ will come with his angels at some point which will end history, “and then he will reward each person according to what he has done.” Matthew 16:27.
what a nice surprise to find a new PSNT post on the interwebs this afterlunch. welcome back Paul.
Welcome back! And I shall assume congratulations are in order vis-a-vis graduation, etc.
Have to agree that the pet saving operation is pretty cynical if they are actually going to take money from anyone. If it’s just their way of poking fun at the Rapture silliness, then it’s actually pretty funny. But if they are stealing money from those who don’t know better, then it isn’t funny after all.
Reminds me of a bumper sticker Dave Squires told me about: “In case of Rapture, can I have your car?”
I must confess that I know where I stand, and have already made Earthly plans for next week…..
Glad to have you back, Paul! It’s about time! Geez… ;-)
Good to see you back, Paul!
Agreed, Eternal Earthbound Pets is not an honest way of making a buck, although as a pointed kind of joke I think it’s funny. A fair number of people must agree, based on the publicity it’s gotten. Of course there are a lot of reasons in the mix.
But there are people who have literally planned their lives around the idea that they will be taken bodily into heaven on Saturday. Come Sunday they’ll have no money and no jobs. They’ll be really confused and upset. And you know something – it won’t be because of those mean ol’ atheists. It will be because Harold Camping and his minions convinced them that Harold has the secret decoder ring for the eschatological message hidden in Daniel, Revelation, and whatever other shiny verses the premillenial magpies have picked up.
It’s a shame, but completely understandable, that the media have given the story so much coverage. Understandable because End of the World stories are inherently fascinating and exciting, and a shame for all the reasons we’ve touched on.
The question in my mind is how, or whether, the mainstream churches could have done an effective job of countering the story. Could they have gotten the message out to the wider world that Camping’s followers are a relatively tiny splinter group following a crank using laughable methods to reach an absurd conclusion?
Yes, Jack, it’s a sad sad story. I wonder what Camping is doing now. I hope a bunch of them don’t end up dead, Jim Jones style.
I’m not sure it would occur to most mainline churches to distance themselves from Camping et al. For most of us — even the vast majority of far-right Christians — the absurdity is so self-evident that we wouldn’t think of wasting the time. And if people really want to believe that “that’s what all religion leads to,” it will take more than a reasoned discussion to convince them otherwise.
Reported by the great author John Crowley on his LiveJournal:
” I am touched to learn that some Christian group or groups are setting up an encampment around the Christian Family Radio site in California, ready to comfort disappointed rapture-expecters and assure them that God still loves them.”
I hope those folks had some success in their ministry.
Funny you should mention that, Barb. I had Osama and Co. in mind when I wrote it, and the way mainstream Muslims see nothing whatsoever in common with them. They just don’t understand how anyone could conflate their religion with ObL’s. Although, like you said, plenty of folks do this. Same brush indeed.