Who are you? Explain yourself! Thus spake the Caterpillar
Who are you? Explain yourself! The Caterpillar smokes his hookah and gives Alice the what-for. Image source: Wikimedia Commons
This, from the fifth chapter of Lewis Carroll‘s Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland.
The Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth and addressed Alice in a languid, sleepy voice. “Who are you?” said the Caterpillar.
Alice replied, rather shyly, “I — I hardly know, sir, just at present — at least I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have changed several times since then.”
“What do you mean by that?” said the Caterpillar, sternly. “Explain yourself!”
“I can’t explain myself, I’m afraid, sir,” said Alice, “because I’m not myself, you see — being so many different sizes in a day is very confusing.” She drew herself up and said very gravely, “I think you ought to tell me who you are, first.”
“Why?” said the Caterpillar.
As Alice could not think of any good reason and the Caterpillar seemed to be in a very unpleasant state of mind, she turned away.
“Come back!” the Caterpillar called after her. “I’ve something important to say!” Alice turned and came back again.
“Keep your temper,” said the Caterpillar.
“Is that all?” said Alice, swallowing down her anger as well as she could.
“No,” said the Caterpillar.
It unfolded its arms, took the hookah out of its mouth again, and said, “So you think you’re changed, do you?”
“I’m afraid, I am, sir,” said Alice. “I can’t remember things as I used — and I don’t keep the same size for ten minutes together!”
“Well, what size do you want to be?” asked the Caterpillar.
We here at psnt.net have always loved this scene. Why? It’s not the drugged-out larval Lepidoptera. It’s not the mushroom, the hookah, or the drifting smoke, although these things are pretty cool. It’s also not the three-inch-high Alice. What it is, is the voice of the Caterpillar: Who are you? Explain yourself! What size do you want to be? Such magnificence.
How do you, dear Alert Reader, handle these questions?
There are 7 Comments to "Who are you? Explain yourself! Thus spake the Caterpillar"
I shrink in size like Alice whenever I try to explain myself; my explanations are always so much less than I am. Thus I handle these questions very evasively, aided by a generous dose of postmodern indeterminacy. I might dust my confection with a quote from Guy Davenport: “People who always know what they are doing seem to miss the vital part of any doing.” The caterpillar grows in Alice’s eyes by refusing to explain himself when asked, instead turning the question back on the inquirer. And why not? Does anyone feel like they are likely to be understood when confronted with an imperious “Explain yourself”?
Mark, this is the response of a truly thoughtful person. Thank you so much.
“I — I hardly know, sir, just at present — at least I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have changed several times since then.”
This one line really speaks to me. I know who I was yesterday, ten years ago, even twenty years ago. I can tell you stories about that Jess. Like Alice, however, I have changed several times since then, and defining myself in the right now is really, really difficult. So when I’m asked to explain myself–I’m not sure I can. Who am I?! Not the woman I was when I started and not the woman I will be when I get where ever it is I’m headed.
I tend to agree with Walker Percy’s ideas of the insignifiability of man as found in works such as “Lost in the Cosmos.” The great irony of the human being is that we can name everything but ourselves. We can describe characteristics of human beings, but we really can’t give a completely satisfying answer of who we are. For now, we remain a mystery not only to others, but also to ourselves.
As much as I would like to know who I am, I am helpless to do it on my own!
Tyler,
It seems that you and I are on the same page. LitC has got to be one of my favorite books ever. In case you’re interested, I have a post about it here.
Thanks for your comments, and keep up the nice work with your own site!
Paul
Is knowing and explaining myself all that important?
It seems like not only does God becomes lessened when God is discussed, I think people do too. Often times I witness one person pigeon-hole another through cheap and cursory explanations. The describer, intentionally or not, really only touches at the surface of the multiplicity and complexity of the person.
Explaining someone is a rather difficult proposition. Explaining one’s self is quite difficult as we change and grow. Our perspective is skewed. Today’s explanation does not suit for yesterday, and does not get at who I may be tomorrow.
I am in the middle (well actually beginning) of a very long biography of Benjamin Franklin. After the 14 hours of listening to the book, I will know more, but will I know enough to explain BF in full?
I guess this comes back to Jesus for me. Maybe I don’t have to explain myself. I don’t have to explain myself since the enormity of the task is impossible. Besides when I do explain myself I sound even worse, weirder, or wilder than I really am. Language (or even just the process of self-examination) causes change that falsifies my answer.
Grace says God takes care of it for me, no matter my size and how it changes. I guess that is why I like Grace, I don’t need to perform the impossible.
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